Best. Advice. Ever.

I have been gone for far to long! with that in mind please enjoy these words of wisdom.

Hitchhikin'

The beautiful weather yesterday convinced me that I should ride the scooter my wonderful brother let me borrow for the summer to work. After work I realized I needed to jet over to Home Depot (again) for more supplies to complete my most recent project. Just as a side note- it is never a good idea to go to home depot on a scooter, I developed some incredible balancing skills trying to get everything home. But I digress. On my way home, laden down with bags, a group of homeless men thought it would be funny to try and get me to pick them up. They stuck there thumbs out and when I started to laugh they proceeded to chase me down the street. Who knew homeless people were so fast?
But the real question is- how much can the scooter hold? Apparently just me, some pruning shears, 3 tarps, 25 feet of hose, twine and about 15 pounds of spackle.

I love everything about this.

Today I feel like this...

Simon meets the swing

I had the pleasure of going to the park with my adorable nephew Simon, if you want to see happiness just check out his face. I wish I still got this excited about swings.

Mother, there is no other

With Mothers day coming up I thought it was fitting to bring this little treasure out of retirement. Everything from Mr T's small shorts to the bad production value of this video screams out appreciation for our mothers!

Love you mommy!

...and that was the happiest day of my life.

We went to Pirates Island - a pirate themed Chuck E. Cheese - for my friend Scott's birthday party, lucky for us it was also Karaoke Night! This guy sang 3 songs for us. He started his act with "Three Times a Lady", then moved on to "A few of my favorite things" and ended the amazing-ness with "play that funky music white boy".

Lessons learned from Esmeralda

A few weeks ago some friends and I took a trip to California, and of course when in California you have to swing by Disneyland! I did a lot of things that I had never done before, like eat Dole Whip and visit the Tiki Room. The Tiki Room was incredible and the rest of the day I was singing “in the tiki tiki tiki tiki tiki tiki room, in the tiki tiki tiki tiki tiki tiki room all the birds sing words and flowers bloom in the tiki tiki tiki tiki tiki tiki room”. I think it should have scared me, but animatronic birds flying above my head singing really was the most entertaining thing of the day!

The other thing I found that I have been missing all these years was getting my fortune read by Esmeralda. Usually she gives you vague and cliché fortunes that sound like an extended “Confucius Say” fortune cookie. But I, apparently, am special and deserved a more severe reading. Here is my fortune:

“You have been living every day, eating, drinking, sleeping, a little work and a little leisure, day in and day out, month in and month out, year in and year out. Where do you expect it all will end? You have never adopted any plan without shortly discarding it. Because your plans do not immediately mature, instead of striving harder to succeed with them, you let them go and live on and on, with no thought to the future whatsoever. Start right now, plan out your future and work for it. Work, Economize, save, and you will win great success.”

I don’t know what it is about getting nailed by a talking mannequin head, but I was really depressed afterwards. I realize that it is just by chance that I got the bad fortune but there is truth at the heart of it. And if Esmeralda can’t make me stick to my goals then who can? I have turned over a new leaf; no more procrastinating and being lazy for me! I am going to start going to FHE and institute. I am going to organize my basement. I am going to use that treadmill I bought, and by golly my life is going to be awesome!

I also learned that my lucky number is 8 and if I put another quarter in the slot Esmeralda would give me another tongue lashing.

Thanks Esmeralda!

Happiest Girl In The Whole USA

What's this? Two posts in one day? But i just couldnt help myself! this video made me too happy to not share!

Now if only the weather would cooperate and turn sunny!

What's on your iPod?

I am an iPod junkie. I listen to music almost all day at work and when I get home one of my favorite things is to listen to Louis Armstrong and Ella Fitzgerald croon while I cook dinner. The other day I realized that I have the same few play lists that I listen to over, and over, and over. So I broke away from my favs and started to venture into the unknown reaches of my iPod. What I found is actually pretty awesome.

A. Bob Marley really is incredible. If you haven’t listened to him in a while I would highly recommend it.

B. Mo Town will always make me happy. Always.

C. I found some hidden Sam Cooke songs that I didn’t even realize I had and have loved reuniting with him. If you don’t know much about Sam Cooke read up on him, his life was bizarre.

D. William Shatner has an album called “Has Been”. Listen to it- you won’t regret it.

E. The Shoop song by Salt-N-Peppa still gets me movin’, and not only that but 10 years later I still know every lyric.

I just have one last thing to say “Don't know how you do the voodoo that you do so well it's a spell, hell, makes me wanna shoop shoop shoop”

I heart beards

Most people don't know this about me, but I have a serious thing for men with beards. Last year I went on a cruise and while aboard the ship I met a guy who was the founder of a club for men who have mustaches and beards called 'Stach Con. I really wanted to join the club just so I could go to the conventions, but alas, I was missing the critical requirement of facial hair.


I am a regular follower of the World Beard Championship, and even yesterday I was at Burger Supreme and I saw this guy with a fantastic red beard and I proudly turned around and stared. I know I am taking a long time to get to the point, and here it is... I love beards! I do. My friend just sent me this diagram it is was too awesome to keep to myself.

My New Fascination

Recently I have become a little too interested in vintage ads. My brother had this one has his profile picture for a while- and I think that's what spurred this new hobby on.

This picture is terrifying- but awesome in its terrifying-ness. I think there are a lot of life lessons to be learned in these ads; for instance- "always eat your ham" and "Don't forget the Tenderoni!" As you peruse my favorite ads please feel free to let us know what you have learned from them! I think this may prove to be very interesting.

It's True- we would all be a little happier if we ate lard!

"Hey Ladies- Get off the horse..."

A few weeks ago my friend Kristen and I took a mini-trip to Park City for the night. We walked around the main street and checked out all the awesome art galleries and overpriced jewelry shops. Then we really went shopping and hit the outlet mall! I bought some shoes and a few too many kitchen things... and on our way out we saw one of those kids carousels that you see outside grocery stores. Both Kristen and I have always wanted to ride one- so Kristen popped 50 cents in the machine and we were off! There's no time like the present, right?

We were thoroughly enjoying ourselves when the lights around us started to flash on and off. We ignored this and then towards the end of the ride a rather bothered looking security guard came out and told us to get off the horses. We suspect him of turning the lights on and off in attempt to scare us off- and the bothered look he gave us was because we made him leave his nice warm office where he undoubtedly was watching CSI or Law and Order. Sorry Mr Security Guard, but we really had a good time on the Carousel!